This morning, GMA ran a story about the power of makeup. I would generally have no input on stories like this because I keep mascara for over a year. (That should tell you all that you need to know about my relationship with Cover Girl.) But I found this story particularly amusing. Here’s why:
Errr merrrr gerrrrsh.
Apparently women all around the world are posting videos of themselves doing a “half face” makeup transformation to show what they look like with and without makeup; it’s supposed to empower them by letting them see what they could look like if they would spend the time to apply a little gloss.
I love this story for so many reasons. First, to avoid looking shallow, GMA repeated at least 47 times that really, this experiment shows you how beautiful you are without makeup. They wanted to make this point SO much that they did two live demos on air:
You’ll notice that not only is their makeup done on one half of their face, but their hair is only done on one half of their heads. Way to keep it neutral, GMA. We bloggers like to call that an ‘even playing field.’
Second, GMA called the video clip ‘emotionally honest.’ I feel like that’s a tagline that you should use when discussing actual issues but not this; the vlogger wasn’t emotional in any sense about this, in fact, quite the contrary. (Sidenote for the editing department: when trying to invoke emotional sentiment about how we look and (in turn) how we feel about ourselves, play Aguilera’s ‘You are Beautiful’ as an undertrack. It gets us every time.)
De Jager (the vlogger) talks in her video about how you can just play with makeup for fun and become whoever you want to for a day, the likes of which include a couple of the Kardashian/Jenner brood and J-Lo. (Maybe that was the emotional part? Admitting out loud that you’d want to be one of those people for a day?) Anyway, she is talented as heck and just got seven million people to agree with her and got on morning television. Dry that tear, girl. Dry that tear.
My warning: don’t try this at home. This girl is crazy talented and you probably aren’t. In reality, this is what having half of your face made up really does to your confidence:
(if video doesn’t play, click here)
“Good. Not so good.” It’s a simple point, really.
Near the end of the report, a GMA contributor notes that the purpose of makeup is to “make you look like your best self.” I totally agree with that sentiment and the fact that makeup can be fun (I assume, I wouldn’t know, really.), but that is not what is happening here. Women are using makeup to make them look like a completely different self (see note above about looking like J-Lo for a day), which is a good idea until you are getting ready for your second date and you can’t remember who you were on the first one.
Fellas, beware. Those eyebrows may not even exist. Be sure to take your lady love to a pool this summer, give her a good dunk and pray that you haven’t been duped by a face-painting aficionado.
They call him Two-Face for a reason, y’all.
